Celebrating
the Life of
Jacqueline Davies
‘Jay’
13th February 1947 – 14th
September 2017
Harwood Park Crematorium
Tuesday, 3rd October at 12.30
pm
Conducted by
Steve Stacey - Civil Celebrant
ORDER OF SERVICE
Entrance Music
Stairway To Heaven – Led
Zeppelin
Welcome & Introduction
Welcome here today as we meet
to celebrate the life of Jay,
to pay our respects to her and
to support each other in our loss.
We meet to share our love for
her, our stories about her, to
share our memories of her and
to share our grief at losing her.
Jay had some lovely qualities.
She was unique, there's never
been anyone like her before. If
you look through the whole world
you'll not find anyone like her
again.
She was a kind, caring and loving
woman. She was very loyal. She
was selfless and generous and
would put others interests and
needs before her own.
Jay had a warm-hearted and smiley
nature. She had a good sense of
humour and always saw the funny
side of things.
There were times when she could
be feisty and strong-willed –
once she’d made up her mind
she wouldn’t change it!
She liked to be in charge and
as Rod says, could be ‘bossy’
at times. They didn’t always
see eye to eye, but never fell
out. He got quite used to having
his ears chewed!
She was a worrier – for
example, she never liked flying
– Pat took her to Spain
once - she needed 4 Valium just
to board. She passed her driving
test, then didn’t drive
for years. When she did, she knew
the route to Woolmer Green –
that’s as far as she would
go!
She was an organised lady. She
chose the music and the readings
for today.
Her family were so important to
her.
Our hearts and prayers go out
to her daughter, Tracy, her partner,
Rod and her sister, Pat and her
family.
Each one of you is here today
because you knew her and you’ve
lost an important person in your
life.
Our service for her has been created
to celebrate everything she was
and everything that she leaves
behind rather than simply focusing
on our own loss. It is an opportunity
to reflect on Jay’s life
and character and to say thank
you for the precious time that
you had with her. It is a time
to honour her place in your life.
I hope that you feel that the
service for her today reflects,
respects and honours the Jay that
you knew and loved and that it
gives you the opportunity to pay
your respects in the way you would
wish.
We want the people that we love
to be with us always, happy and
healthy. Jay’s passing is
a reminder to us that we are all
living things and only here for
a brief moment. However long that
moment is, it will never be long
enough for those that we love.
Our first hymn is one that Jay
would have known all of her life.
She would have sung it at school
and at some of the happiest times
in her life as well as some of
the saddest. It is a reminder
of her love of animals in general
and dogs in particular. She went
to Crufts every year. Rod recalls
“We met through dogs and
our lives revolved around dogs.
A bone of contention was the training.
I told her that her dogs had not
been trained. She said mine were
over trained!”
More about the dogs, later.
Animals played a big part in her
childhood and over the years had
chickens, rabbits, pigeons, budgies
and generally other small furry
animals – she hated cruelty
to animals.
Hymn - All Things Bright &
Beautiful
(chorus)
We’re going to spend a few
minutes sharing some of the love
and esteem people have for her.
Her good friend Anne writes “I
first met Jay when our daughters
made friends at school. We lived
in the same road and remained
friends for 45 years. She always
gave advice on how to look after
your dog. I will miss her. She
will now have to take care of
all the dogs that are in heaven
and make sure they are walked!!!
God Bless. Anne.”
She met Jean when she was working.
She writes “We never had
a cross word in all the years
we have known one another, and
am so grateful we met at the Frythe
and consider an honour to have
had Jackie in my life. Her passing
has left a great void and still
cannot believe she is no longer
with us. A true and loyal friend.
We were always there for one another
in good times and the not so good.”
Kitty and her daughter Heidi,
remember “Jay and mum’s
younger sister Karen, about eleven
yrs old, deciding they wanted
to camp. My mum put the tent up
in her garden (in Welwyn Garden
where she lives now) and they
had to stay out overnight and
only could only come in to use
the loo.
So they chose food etc and were
to stay out overnight and have
their own breakfast. Around seven
thirty the next morning, they
arrived upstairs with cups of
tea for my mum and dad and said
they’d been up ages, and
eaten all their food... except
for the Arctic roll as it was
still frozen, so they had tried
to defrost it but somehow Jay
had dropped it into a bucket of
water!”
Jay was someone who told it as
it was. We’re going to share
some words that reflect that and
that she was matter of fact.
Death Is Nothing At All
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the
next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way which
you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity
or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed
together.
Play, smile, and think of me.
Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household
word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow
on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you. For
an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.
All is well.
Jay’s second hymn choice
is the Lord of the Dance.
Lord of the Dance
Jay's Story
We’re going to share some
of Jay’s story.
Pat has written the first part.
Jacqueline Davies was born in
the front bedroom of 144 Crawford
Road, Hatfield to Dorothea and
Basil William Davies on 13th January
1947 in the middle of the worst
winter.
She was the youngest of two girls
joining her sister, Patricia.
Dr Jameson asked Pat “who
do you think is crying in the
front bedroom?” He invited
her into the room and Pat’s
first vision of Jay was the doctor
holding her upside down by her
legs!
The Doctor said “if you’re
going to call her Jaqueline, you
don’t need to saddle her
with a middle name!”
Jay had bad asthma as a child,
and she and Pat spent the winter
nights with a full kettle of Fry’s
Balsam in the bedroom.
Her nickname was Jack Sprat as
she was such a small and skinny
child.
Jay and Pat had an idyllic childhood
playing in the corn fields and
woods catching slow worms on the
railway banks and in Mardley Hill
Woods.
Jay attended Knebworth Junior
School and Welwyn Secondary Modern.
When she left school, she worked
in a bank in London.
In her teenage years Jay and her
friend Zosha, regularly went to
London to stand outside the Rolling
Stones flat waiting for a chance
to see them and she eventually
got their autographs.
On January 29thm 1969, Jay gave
birth to her daughter Tracy and
gave up work to be a full time
mum.
Jay was very organised and always
remembered her families birthdays.
Her great nieces and nephew loved
receiving a Terry’s chocolate
orange each every Xmas with some
money to spend tucked in the back.
If there is an after-life Jay
will be met by her mum and dad
and a pack of dogs.
Tracy was such an important part
of Jay’s life and Tracy
has written this for her.
In my mind my Mum will stay forever
young. She wasn’t an old
70. Her hair was still brown.
She was fit and active. Her brown
eyes, still bright and beautiful.
We still had so much to do together,
so many more animals to share...
Mum was a friendly, thoughtful
person...
A lovely lady, always smiling,
was how my friends described her.
She lived for her dogs, walking
all weathers, twice a day without
fail. There were always dogs in
Mum’s life, from Spaniels
and the Poodles of the 60s...
Mum bred the first Cockerpoos
don’t you know!!
Zoe and Lucy, the Spaniels of
the 70s and their puppies and
then came Abbie, Duke the Weimarane,r
and her greatest loves, Rosco
and Roma the Spinoni!
She was my kennel help at dog
shows, my chief groomer, although
she would often wander off with
Pat to go shopping instead of
helping!!
Mum loved music, from folk to
rock and everything in between!
My childhood was filled with Mum’s
music, she even ironed to music
and then there was her slightly
less than tuneful singing.
The last gig she went to was a
Pink Floyd tribute. She texted
me all excited. “It was
Fantastic” she said.
Her life was filled with animals,
except earth worms. She hated
them! She took a while to love
my pet rats, turfing my secret
pet rat outside with the words
“get rid of it” ringing
in my ears.
But she softened and ‘Kurt’
stayed…
Mum knew how to look after animals
to a very high standard and she
made sure everyone else did too!
She could be formidable too, especially
to some of my teenage boyfriends
“Isn’t it time you
went home?” soon got rid
of the ones she didn’t like!
For me, it is very hard to bear
that she won't ever roll up at
my house again on a Wednesday
morning in her little blue car
with two sachets of cappuccino,
a bag full of useful items and
a dog magazine.
My last happy memories of Mum
were Christmas 2016 with John
and I here in Somerset and her
surprise 70th Birthday Meal January
2017 at The White Horse in Welwyn.
All her friends and family were
there and it was the happiest
I had seen Mum for a while.
Friend to so many, but most of
all, she was just My Mum and I
will miss her so very much.
All that’s left now is the
memories…
The last two years became difficult
for her and for those who loved
her and she became unable to do
so many of the things that she
loved doing.
Jay passed away on the 14th September.
She will be sadly missed, but
always very fondly remembered.
I hope that you can take comfort
in the fact that she did have
a good life that she was able
to spend with the man that she
loved and leaves behind that wonderful
legacy of family and friends and
beautiful memories that will live
on.
During the next few moments, think
about the things that you’ve
heard today.
Think about your own memories
of her - they will be every bit
as special and unique as she was.
They will be special, unique to
you and her and no two of you
will have exactly the same ones.
Think about why it was good to
have had Jay as part of your life
- the impact that she had on you.
Remember that she was very proud
to have had each of you in her
life too.
While you do that, we’re
going to listen to a song from
Fleetwood Mac. It came out in
November 1968, a time when she
had so many wonderful things to
look forward to in life.
Music for Reflection
Albatross – Fleetwood Mac
Quiet Reflection
We’re going to spend a few
moments in silence - a chance
to focus on a single memory of
her, one that will make you smile.
There are so many to choose from.
Think of something you can share
when you get together afterward.
If you have faith you could use
the time to say your own private
prayer for her.
The Committal
Sadly, Jay has reached the end
of her journey here with us.
She has left behind all of the
cares of the world. She is now
free of all the troubles of the
world - she is free of illness
and of pain. She is at total peace.
Jay...
To everything, there is a season
A time to be born and a time to
die.
We are glad that we shared our
lives with you.
We will cherish all of the good
things that you brought into our
lives.
We will remember your character
and your personality,
We will recall the things that
you did with us
And the happy times we shared
together.
We commit the memory of you
To our hearts and minds.
With love and tenderness, we leave
you in peace
Closing Words
It has been said that a person
is not dead while their name is
still being spoken. That we are
only truly gone when we disappear
from the memories of those who
loved us.
While you remember Jay, she will
live on.
We never lose the people we love.
Be thankful that Jay was and still
is a part of your life. For her
family, she is part of them.
Your lives have been made all
the better by knowing Jay and
having walked part of your life’s
journey beside her.
After the service, you’re
all invited to the North Star.
When you get there, enjoy talking
about your memories and sharing
tales of things she did, words
that she said. I’m sure
that there will be more laughter
than tears.
She chose our final reading.
Miss Me But Let Me Go
When I come to the end of the
road
And the sun is set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom filled
room
Why cry for a soul like me?
Miss me a little, but not too
long
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once
shared.
Miss me - but let me go.
For this is a journey we all must
take
And each must go alone,
For it is part of the master’s
plan,
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of
heart,
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing
good deeds.
Miss me - but let me go.
Thank you for taking the time
to be here for Jay and for each
other today.
Thank you most of all to Jay for
sharing her life with us.
Exit Music
Rhiannon – Fleetwood Mac
